“You know… you don’t give a fuck. I like that.”
“Shut up.” Gentry growled at her inbetween quick and furious strokes, and the crude slap of skin against skin.
“I mean it. I like you.” She said boldly, staggering over to him. The uneven sway of her hips reminded him of a limping deer, but he liked it. It was as raw as how she crouched down on the mat and slid her fingers into his, peeling his hand away and replacing it with hers. Her hands were damp and hot, and he almost lost himself until the bitch stopped suddenly and slurred out:
“God, what are these?”
Gentry pulled her arm away and used it to draw her close to him, so he could whisper to her face:
“God’s got nothing to do with it.”
She gawked back at him, and he peered right back at her until he could see himself reflected back in her eyes, whispering to her, “I put my hand on the stove, and left it there. Sometimes, I run them under hot water.”
In the sparse light, her eyes looked wide and dark. It was like staring at someone else, a beast hunched before him. Slowly, hesitantly, she churned out, “I don’t get it.”
He leaned in to them and asked,
“Haven’t you ever wanted to destroy things?”
“I—”
“Haven’t you ever stood next to someone, and wanted to bash their head in?”
He grabbed one of her wrists and pulled her forward, “I have. I’ve wanted to turn them into something they weren’t before, change their life forever— Change the world. I want to break their heads open and change what makes them. Everything I’ve done to myself, I’ll end up doing to someone else. It doesn’t even hurt.”
A cloud covered the moon, and blanketed the room in darkness. Kylie slowly pried her hands away, but Gentry took hold of her bony wrist and pulled it back towards him.
“Want to know what does?”
The shadows of her face were unreadable now, and he could tell her lips were parted from the breath that tickled his cheek. The high tide of inhale, exhale. The clouds passed and moonlight shone back in. As she caught her breath, her lips gaped at him stupidly, then curved into a seductive little smile and cooed,
“Show me?”
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 19
“Then what are you doing here?” she asked, brushing her shoulder against his. “Whose key is that?”
“Mrs.Copper’s.”
“You aren’t supposed to have that.”
“There are a lot of things people aren’t supposed to have.”
“Don't worry, I won’t tell... show me where it leads.”
Gentry forcefully shoved the key into the lock. The door creaked open to reveal the dusty room in its sparsely lit splendor, a cove of quiet. He stepped inside, and she followed him. Yet Gentry instantly blocked her way and harshly demanded,
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Going in? What, don't you want me around?”
He didn’t glorify that with a response. He entered and loudly pulled out a mat, then laid down.
“You come here often?” Kylie squeaked, “Because this is a really quiet place. It must get lonely… you must get lonely.”
Gentry simply grunted and undid his pants.
“Hey--- what are you doing?”
“If you don’t like what you see, leave.”
Gentry slid a hand down his stomach, between his legs.
“Ohh… well, wow. You’re direct.”
Her words drifted off after that, silence ebbing away at them. Her hand pulled the door closed, then she stood there awkwardly watching him with her glazed eyes.
“Mrs.Copper’s.”
“You aren’t supposed to have that.”
“There are a lot of things people aren’t supposed to have.”
“Don't worry, I won’t tell... show me where it leads.”
Gentry forcefully shoved the key into the lock. The door creaked open to reveal the dusty room in its sparsely lit splendor, a cove of quiet. He stepped inside, and she followed him. Yet Gentry instantly blocked her way and harshly demanded,
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Going in? What, don't you want me around?”
He didn’t glorify that with a response. He entered and loudly pulled out a mat, then laid down.
“You come here often?” Kylie squeaked, “Because this is a really quiet place. It must get lonely… you must get lonely.”
Gentry simply grunted and undid his pants.
“Hey--- what are you doing?”
“If you don’t like what you see, leave.”
Gentry slid a hand down his stomach, between his legs.
“Ohh… well, wow. You’re direct.”
Her words drifted off after that, silence ebbing away at them. Her hand pulled the door closed, then she stood there awkwardly watching him with her glazed eyes.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 18
Note: I debated with myself about the scence that you are about to read. It will be posted in its entirety by the end of next week in its original format. It's important, promise. Thanks for putting up with my writer's block.
That student had been Kylie, who now stood before him backlit by the pale moonlight. Somewhere in the distance, the stadium lights had turned on and glimmered with blistering efficiency. Gentry shielded his eyes to look at her, and she eyed him back with a houndlike expression on her face. Wispy strands of her hair stuck on end, glowing along with every sequin on her dress.
“Do you hate me, or something?” she asked him.
“No.”
He hated that she found his secret places, and followed him tonight. To the bleachers at the back of the school, down in the chamber underneath the seats, crowded with old gym matts, safety cones and crates of things that no one used. Every so often, his fingers took the key off Ms. Copper’s hook, and locked his body in. Many hours of his freshman year were idled away lying on the old blue gym mat, eyes staring up at the cobwebs and abandoned bird nests which lined the ceiling. Occasionally the moonlight would trickle in through small holes in the metal, illuminating the dust as he slowly breathed it in. The particles danced in the pale light, until night slowly settled and merge into morning. And until he left that room, time stood still.
Sometimes he thought he heard flapping, and had one of those moments where he wasn’t sure if he was awake or dreaming. Sometimes he found dead birds here; died while looking for a way out. Gentry never saw then alive, but always managed to find them stiff from the cold. Normally, he’d kick them into a corner and forget about them. It was easier not to get involved in those kinds of things. His father always told him “don’t get emotional, don’t get too friendly, don’t get too close.”
And no place was farther than this secret passage which loomed before him; the place where Kylie had followed him to, the farthest place he could think of. Yet in a strange way, he’d expected her. He had listened to her footsteps on the grass, the soft pitter-patter.
That student had been Kylie, who now stood before him backlit by the pale moonlight. Somewhere in the distance, the stadium lights had turned on and glimmered with blistering efficiency. Gentry shielded his eyes to look at her, and she eyed him back with a houndlike expression on her face. Wispy strands of her hair stuck on end, glowing along with every sequin on her dress.
“Do you hate me, or something?” she asked him.
“No.”
He hated that she found his secret places, and followed him tonight. To the bleachers at the back of the school, down in the chamber underneath the seats, crowded with old gym matts, safety cones and crates of things that no one used. Every so often, his fingers took the key off Ms. Copper’s hook, and locked his body in. Many hours of his freshman year were idled away lying on the old blue gym mat, eyes staring up at the cobwebs and abandoned bird nests which lined the ceiling. Occasionally the moonlight would trickle in through small holes in the metal, illuminating the dust as he slowly breathed it in. The particles danced in the pale light, until night slowly settled and merge into morning. And until he left that room, time stood still.
Sometimes he thought he heard flapping, and had one of those moments where he wasn’t sure if he was awake or dreaming. Sometimes he found dead birds here; died while looking for a way out. Gentry never saw then alive, but always managed to find them stiff from the cold. Normally, he’d kick them into a corner and forget about them. It was easier not to get involved in those kinds of things. His father always told him “don’t get emotional, don’t get too friendly, don’t get too close.”
And no place was farther than this secret passage which loomed before him; the place where Kylie had followed him to, the farthest place he could think of. Yet in a strange way, he’d expected her. He had listened to her footsteps on the grass, the soft pitter-patter.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 17
Once, in his freshman year, a dove had flown into the closed-off storage chamber beneath the bleachers. Right around the late fall, when leaves curled dead on the trees, it had made a flight for its life by swooping into the open metal entry gate, disappearing into the shadowy ceiling.
When the door closed shut, the whole class a loud and heard frantic flapping. Only one person had mentioned it to the PE teacher, and that student had not been him.
“Open it the doors, it’s stuck.”
“It flew in there; it knew what it was doing.” Said Ms.Copper, as the fading light glinted off her sunglasses. She wore them because she was cross-eyed.
“It didn’t know it would die.”
“It’s only a pigeon.” Was the impatient reply, “There are millions of them.”
“There are also millions of people.”
No wrinkle of thought carved its mark on her leathery face, as she heard without listening. None ever did.
“There’s nothing I can do.”
And then the door locked shut on the frantic flapping.
When the door closed shut, the whole class a loud and heard frantic flapping. Only one person had mentioned it to the PE teacher, and that student had not been him.
“Open it the doors, it’s stuck.”
“It flew in there; it knew what it was doing.” Said Ms.Copper, as the fading light glinted off her sunglasses. She wore them because she was cross-eyed.
“It didn’t know it would die.”
“It’s only a pigeon.” Was the impatient reply, “There are millions of them.”
“There are also millions of people.”
No wrinkle of thought carved its mark on her leathery face, as she heard without listening. None ever did.
“There’s nothing I can do.”
And then the door locked shut on the frantic flapping.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 16
So they went to the afterparty; just across the street from the school and Carly’s old house, where last year’s festivities resulted in a fire that destroyed the kitchen. Students habitually partied where they were just out of reach from the faculty; just far enough to reduce prom royalty to commoners. The entire swim team, even some members of the freshmen division, were already crowding the floor of Sydney's two-story starter-castle… the afterparty had started awhile ago, since prom was patrolled by teachers who warned you about dancing too close. Gentry watched stumbling-drunk 14-year-olds bump and grind each other while the upperclassmen pantsed and stripped them. The uneasy suspicion that if Carly wasn’t taking photos, someone else was, briefly crossed his mind. He didn’t want any more pictures. He didn’t want Kylie either, which why he’d abandoned her somewhere in the crowd.
He slipped out the open door and dashed across the street, squeezing through the gate that opened the football field in the back of the school. It stretched in front of him, a yawning abyss of dusty space. The metal goalpost jutted against the overcast night sky, covering the low yellow moon and casting a long shadow over him.
His feet shuffled through the clipped weedy grass, and ears listened closely for any sign he was being followed. There were just moments he didn’t want anyone around. Especially not—Zach was really something. He wondered how Zach had talked him into that. He wondered what would happen if that crazy son of bitch actually were his boyfriend. If they had gone to the prom together. If he’d never left his house, if his father had never hurt him. If, then, when, all amounted to never. Never was, never will be. And that made the night even colder, because all this time there was nothing he wanted more than the hot rush of control.
He’d be happy once he had control. Control who loved him, who hurt him, what he wanted and what he would give… that he would have so much control that he would no longer be a victim— no longer shivering under the blankets afraid of the dark and praying nervously for the dawn.
Well, he didn’t pray anymore, and he’d succeeded in controlling everything. Fragments of the original plan still lingered in his mind, but they didn’t seem relevant anymore. He didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know.
Yet… yet.
It was then that his thoughts were interrupted by a nervous rustling in the bushes. A moment later a small creature darted past him, stopping abruptly at a distance to gaze at him with its twinkling dark eyes. Gentry glared back at it, and it twitched its tiny red body before darting back off into the night and disappearing into the undergrowth.
He slipped out the open door and dashed across the street, squeezing through the gate that opened the football field in the back of the school. It stretched in front of him, a yawning abyss of dusty space. The metal goalpost jutted against the overcast night sky, covering the low yellow moon and casting a long shadow over him.
His feet shuffled through the clipped weedy grass, and ears listened closely for any sign he was being followed. There were just moments he didn’t want anyone around. Especially not—Zach was really something. He wondered how Zach had talked him into that. He wondered what would happen if that crazy son of bitch actually were his boyfriend. If they had gone to the prom together. If he’d never left his house, if his father had never hurt him. If, then, when, all amounted to never. Never was, never will be. And that made the night even colder, because all this time there was nothing he wanted more than the hot rush of control.
He’d be happy once he had control. Control who loved him, who hurt him, what he wanted and what he would give… that he would have so much control that he would no longer be a victim— no longer shivering under the blankets afraid of the dark and praying nervously for the dawn.
Well, he didn’t pray anymore, and he’d succeeded in controlling everything. Fragments of the original plan still lingered in his mind, but they didn’t seem relevant anymore. He didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know.
Yet… yet.
It was then that his thoughts were interrupted by a nervous rustling in the bushes. A moment later a small creature darted past him, stopping abruptly at a distance to gaze at him with its twinkling dark eyes. Gentry glared back at it, and it twitched its tiny red body before darting back off into the night and disappearing into the undergrowth.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 15
That night, Gentry returned to the scene of the prom.
His heavy feet boarded the yacht once again, and brushed through the double doors, entering to a few slow-dancing drunks swaying to the hazy melody of a slow and grimy song that seemed out of place. But no one noticed anyway; no one was listening to the music. Most people stayed in their seats and some nosily swarmed around Kylie, who immediately looked up at Gentry from the moment he walked through the door, bawling out his name like a rooster crawing out the morning. He looked away as she stumbled across the floor yelling breathlessly, “I thought you ditched me!”
Just a few steps after her, Mike fumbled accross the floor with slow and clumsy steps, barely dodging the tangle of arms and legs skattered across the floor. Blue light glinted off his cheeks and bare head, which was nearly shaven clean by a buzz-cut that that made his face resemble a giant thumb. His short, thick neck bulged out from his too-tight collar as he slowly lifted one hand and grunted out a reserved “Hey.”
Gentry stared at him for a very long time. He was still staring as Kylie stumbled onto him, and threw her freckled arms around his neck,
“Where were you?”
“Somewhere else.”
“Hey.” Mike said again, standing in front of them with legs apart and firmly planted on the ground. He looked uncomfortable as he coughed quietly, and again said, “’Sup.”
“’Sup.” Said Gentry.
“We should get her home.” Mike said in a low voice, “She can barely stand.”
At this, Kylie suddenly cried:
“Noooo!”
“… Come on.”
“No!” Kylie held on closer to Gentry, worming past Mike’s fumbling attempts to grab her, “We’re going to the after-party.”
His heavy feet boarded the yacht once again, and brushed through the double doors, entering to a few slow-dancing drunks swaying to the hazy melody of a slow and grimy song that seemed out of place. But no one noticed anyway; no one was listening to the music. Most people stayed in their seats and some nosily swarmed around Kylie, who immediately looked up at Gentry from the moment he walked through the door, bawling out his name like a rooster crawing out the morning. He looked away as she stumbled across the floor yelling breathlessly, “I thought you ditched me!”
Just a few steps after her, Mike fumbled accross the floor with slow and clumsy steps, barely dodging the tangle of arms and legs skattered across the floor. Blue light glinted off his cheeks and bare head, which was nearly shaven clean by a buzz-cut that that made his face resemble a giant thumb. His short, thick neck bulged out from his too-tight collar as he slowly lifted one hand and grunted out a reserved “Hey.”
Gentry stared at him for a very long time. He was still staring as Kylie stumbled onto him, and threw her freckled arms around his neck,
“Where were you?”
“Somewhere else.”
“Hey.” Mike said again, standing in front of them with legs apart and firmly planted on the ground. He looked uncomfortable as he coughed quietly, and again said, “’Sup.”
“’Sup.” Said Gentry.
“We should get her home.” Mike said in a low voice, “She can barely stand.”
At this, Kylie suddenly cried:
“Noooo!”
“… Come on.”
“No!” Kylie held on closer to Gentry, worming past Mike’s fumbling attempts to grab her, “We’re going to the after-party.”
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 14
Note: Sorry for the long delay. I had personal issues to deal with. I'm all right. Things will continue on schedule now...
There were moments when a man needed to be alone. Zach had that beaten look about him, a look that made him hard to face. Tonight he’d failed something more important than a class; there was nothing that would change that. Gentry didn’t say anything as Zach discreetly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He understood what he understood… this was one of those things that would not be talked about later. The officer pulled up to the grotesquely oversized mansion with a strained look on his face, leering at the windshield wipers as the car door creaked open and slammed shut.
His eyes briefly darted to the rearview mirror.
“Aren’t you going with him?”
“No.”
This was a night to remember, all right.
There were moments when a man needed to be alone. Zach had that beaten look about him, a look that made him hard to face. Tonight he’d failed something more important than a class; there was nothing that would change that. Gentry didn’t say anything as Zach discreetly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He understood what he understood… this was one of those things that would not be talked about later. The officer pulled up to the grotesquely oversized mansion with a strained look on his face, leering at the windshield wipers as the car door creaked open and slammed shut.
His eyes briefly darted to the rearview mirror.
“Aren’t you going with him?”
“No.”
This was a night to remember, all right.
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