Monday, April 30, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 33

Meet Mrs.Sunshine.

Mrs.Sunshine was an eternal pessimist. She was the kind of woman who would tell you to make funeral arrangements because there was a statistical chance you would die at some point. She was a narrow-shouldered woman with dark, limp hair that crawled down her back. Her large breasts were trapped in a dull gray sweater, with a crucifix that dangled between them. Gentry decided it was a good way to spread the word of the Lord.
“Have you thought about boys this week?” she asked, her listless face glancing at him.
“Really?” pale eyes narrowed skeptically.
Gentry toyed with the idea of replying,“It’s hard to think when my boyfriend’s around.”
But instead, he replied,”I don’t remember not thinking about boys until now, when you reminded me that I shouldn’t be thinking about them.”
The corner of Mrs. Sunshine’s mouth twitched in annoyance,”Today I’m going to try something new, because I know about the incident at school. I’m calling your parents in, okay?”
Gentry sat up,”What?”
The door opened, and Mr.Lee Johnson entered in, followed by Sophia who demurely took a seat next to Mrs.Sunshine.
“Well, I’m ready. Are you?” she flashed a hesitant smile at her son.
Gentry fell back sullenly, crossing his arms as Mrs.Sunshine spoke up.
“Homosexuality,” she took a deep, mournful breath,”in males is the result of a doting mother and an emotionally unavailable father. The urge for fatherly affection translates itself into a longing for a fatherly figure that is similar to an Oedipus complex… and results in seeking sexual gratification with other men.”
Gentry scowled. The last thing he wanted was another father. Sophia averted her eyes, and Mr.Lee Johnson stared coldly forward.
“The mother spends most of her time doting on her son to make up for the affection the father doesn’t give him, thereby feminizing the son.”
“If that’s true,” Gentry’s heated gaze fell on Mrs.Sunshine,”then the son of every single-mom should be a raging faggot.”
“Gentry!” Sophia scolded him.
“Don’t scold him for acting out,” said Mrs.Gold,”It’s normal for a boy with an emotionally distant father figure, which is why I recommend that Gentry spend more time with his father.”
Gentry stood up and stormed out without a word. He shook with anger, when suddenly the metallic jingle of his cellphone rang through his ears.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 32

Zach returned home in a cold sweat as soon as he caught a glimpse of his mother, Delilah, perched in front of the computer. She was frowning, her dark eyes so small they formed slits that vanished against her charcoal skin. Her weave was bunched up in a messy ponytail.
“Zach, what is this?” she asked, reading the e-mail.
“Oh… uh… that.”
“Yes, that.”
“Ms.Nasty only told you now.”
“OH yes she did.”
There was an uncomfortable silence.
“Zach,” she turned sighed exasperatedly,”I understand you have your urges, but do you have to go creeping around with this girl? We talked about this. You can bring home any girl and your father and I will accept her, just don’t go creeping around.”
Zach heaved a sigh and sat down on the expensive couch in the corner.
“Well now.” His mother continued,”It says here that the girl’s parents came forward to defend you and clear up what might have been on your record. That was very generous of them, and I want you to write them a thank-you letter. Or maybe even invite them here.”
“I…” Zach scratched the back of his head,”I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”
Delilah leaned foreard,”Why not? Her parents already know, I think they’d want to meet us and know we’re a good family. What kind of girl is this?”
Zach paused,”Huh. Well… uh. She’s athletic. You know, tough. And very smart.”
“Smart is good. It’s important to marry a smart woman.”
Zach flustered at the very thought of marrying Gentry.
“What does she look like?” when Zach hesitated, Delilah specified,”What I mean is, is she pretty?”
“Yeah, she’s REAL pretty.”

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 31

Zach sat on the bleachers, anxiously waiting for Gentry. The bleachers were the only place in the school where anything could be discussed safely. People usually went to the bleachers to smoke pot or make out, and were not interesting in each others’ business.
Zach stooped forward and pushed his fingers together in a prayer-like position. School had ended exactly ten minutes ago, where the hell was Gentry? How could he shrug off the accusation so easily?
When the redhead finally showed, Zach wasted no time probing him for details of the bathroom fiasco.
Gentry tiredly went over it, uninterested in discussing the details of why the incident was not on his record. When the truth was out, Zach almost fell back in his seat.
“So basically you got caught with your pants down, fucking in a bathroom stall, and it’s all because you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?”
“Officially we never fucked and there may or may not have been a stall, seeing as a stall by definition has a door.”
“That’s freaking ridiculous.”
“My dad is a lawyer.”
Zach felt like laughing manically.
“Ms.Nasty didn’t let him speak for you, but since the sex never happened, your so-called offense was graded down to ‘inappropriate behavior.’ She will probably call in your parents, so just go with the story that we got into a fight because of my OCD.”
Zach nodded, taking it all in and spitting out,“Gentry, don’t you see what a joke this is?”
“Who doesn’t? And keep your voice down. The sex never happened.”
“Tell that to my ass.” Zach paused, hesitantly,”Did you at least throw away Ms.Nasty’s pen afterwards?”
A sly smirk spread over Gentry’s lips,“No. I gave it back to her.”

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 30

Gentry hates his life.

Gentry was a terrible office aide. He shuffled papers to make them harder to sort through. He changed grades so that every grade report would read ‘ACDC’ if you scrolled down. Occasionally he would forget to correct the principal’s type-os in e-mails, letting him send out these horribly written messages while praising him on what a good job he was doing. But the pen incident had thrilled him most of all. It was the ultimate ‘fuck you,’ and whenever Ms.Nasty picked up her pen Gentry couldn’t help but grin.
“One of these days,” he thought to himself,”I will go completely crazy.”
His job was to forge the principal’s signature on various important yet monotonous contracts. Gentry always wrote Mr.Harold’s name wrong, spelling it “Mr.HarrHarr” so that if if the error was discovered, the contract would be void, and Mr.Harold would have more paperwork. It hadn’t been discovered for the past three years. But, if it ever was, Mr.Harold couldn’t admit that he had let a student sign his papers. He would have to admit to spelling his own name wrong!
That thought was perfectly exhilarating.
Mr.Nilla, another one of the school’s vice principals, entered and looked to Gentry with a familiar disdain,“Getting any work done?”
Mr.Nilla had never trusted the red-headed aide. He didn’t trust redheads in general, much less redheaded students.
“Good.” The man nodded. He peered out the open window of the room, surveying the school ground. He secretly suspected Gentry was sabotauging records, but the principal was too busy to listen to his claim. In fact, Mr.Nilla reasoned, Mr.Grau was a terrible principal. Ah! There he was. Parading across the rally court like Napoleon Bonaparte, casting longing looks at the Spanish teacher who had an ass as firm as cabbage. Mr.Nilla sneered, wishing Mr.Grau wasn’t his boss.
Just then, he noticed a boy kissing a girl, and yelled out,”Hey, you two, cut it out!”
The boy made a face and the girl pulled him away. Mr.Nilla whipped out his walky talky, which was blaring loudly,”Yes, yes, I saw them. They’re heading for the bleachers, I think. Keep an eye on them. Thanks.” He gave a crackly dry laugh and looked to Gentry,”Consider this a warning.” He patted the redhead on the shoulder,”That kind of behavior is what gives our school a bad rep.”
Gentry just nodded, writing “Mr.HarrHarr” on another contract.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 29

Meet the Johnsons.

Ms.Nasty took the document into her hands, staring up at the jovial man who handed it to her and his beautiful redheaded wife.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lee Johnson, let me just say that I am as shocked by all this as you are.” Ms.Nasty stated. Sophia gave a sweet, embarrassed smile.
“We’re a God fearing family,” she stated, “We don’t know how this happened, but we’re terribly sorry.”
Ms.Nasty took a deep breath, “School rules state ‘sexual harassment’ will be posted in the records of both of the people involved… I’m not allowed to reveal the name of the other party by law.”
Mr.Lee Johnson gave a firm nod,“I understand, Ms.Nasty. But let me tell you I also understand what you are implying. However, we know our son and believe this is all a big misunderstanding. The following court documents illustrate that Gentry has a medical condition known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which can cause poor judgment. Sometimes Gentry just wants everything to be perfect, which explains why he was in the bathroom stall trying to see if the repairs were successful. It is not clear why this person in question was there, but I firmly believe they are friends and perhaps started brawling.”
“But, Mr.Lee Johnson,” Ms.Nasty paused, “Gentry had his pants down.”
“Boys will be boys,” Mr.Lee Johnson laughed heartily, “I can’t explain these changing standards, but I know by what’s under Gentry’s mattress that he is not gay. He is a good student and has consistently shown good judgment in several endeavors, such as the swim club.”
Ms.Nasty pursed her lips, “But, Mr.Lee Johnson---“
“Ms.Nasty, my son loves this school. This is why he raised $1,500 at the last fundraiser auction and participates so actively in the swim team. He wants to be proud of this school, and wants the school to be proud of him. Believe me when I tell you that he is crushed by the thought that something like ‘sexual harassment’ might make it onto his record. Ms.Nasty, he gave this school everything he had because he is grateful for the opportunities this school gives to him. Please, do not abandon him because of a petty misunderstanding caused by a mental disorder. If you want more information on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, please, read through the documentation of it in the papers I have given you.”
Ms.Nasty shuffled through the thick stack, skimming it. Finally, she announced, “Thank you for enlightening me of Gentry’s condition. I had no idea. Based on the special circumstances, I will not put this incident in his permanent record.”
Sophia smiled and warmly drawled, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Ms.Nasty reached for her pen, and it slipped out of her fingers.
“Slippery little sucker.” She muttered, feebly picking the slippery thing up again.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 28

Sorry for missing my update on Friday! I took a nap and woke up Saturday. Anyway. Don't let just anyone borrow your pen ^_~:

No air ever smelled quite as foul as the air in the detention room. The 5th level of Hell was probably a detention room--- hot, stuffy, and unpleasant.
Gentry sat beside him, unable to explain their behavior to Ms.Nasty as ‘testing to see if the bathroom door was properly fixed.’
Zach was mildly pleased, in his own sick way. Ms.Nasty had never looked more furious.
Zach wasn’t sure how having sex in a bathroom stall ‘undermined ‘the very fabric of this institution,’ but Gentry kept nodding and saying he understood… but that Ms.Nasty was mistaken, the janitor was mistaken, and the bathroom floor itself was only circumstantial evidence.
There was more shit in this room than in all the bathroom stalls combined.
Ms.Nasty had left in a huff, angrily clicking the door shut after threatening Zach,”Don’t blame me if a few years down the road your parents come crying to me that you didn’t make it to college!”
Now the room was blissfully silent again. Gentry leaned back in his chair, eyes glistening with thought.
“I get why you like exhibitionism.” Zach murmured,”It’s the opposite of what you do everyday. How are you going to write us out of this one, genius?”
“I don’t know.” Gentry admitted,”I didn’t plan that we’d get caught.”
“No shit.”
“Stop whining, you were into it too.”
It was true. Zach rested his head on the table with a hot flush of annoyance.
Few things were more embarrassing than sporting a hard-on in the detention room. Never in the world had Zach wished more that he was a girl, since no one could tell what a girl was thinking by looking at her pants. The men in the office all held back sniggers; probably they had been in a similar situation. During the ‘walk of shame’ to the detention room, one had suggested Zach be allowed to go to the bathroom in order to ‘finish up.’ Ms.Nasty shot him a glare and explained that ‘he broke the stall. Again.”
Zach heaved a sigh and raised his hooded head to look in Gentry’s direction, noticing the redhead was playing with Ms.Nasty’s special pen, turning it over in his fingers.
Zach snatched it away irritably,”Don’t you care about any of this?”
“I’m a Senior. I already got into Princeton on a swim scholarship.”
Zach’s mouth dropped,”You--- Princeton?”
“Yes, me, Princeton.”
Zach slouched back down,”Oddly enough, I can picture that. They don’t call it the ‘princeton rub’ for nothing.”
Gentry laughed, and Zach had every intention to impale that smug redhead with the pen.
“This isn’t funny, Gentry.”
”I’ll think of something.” Gentry swiped back the pen.
Zach eyed him warily,”What’s so great about that pen?”

Monday, April 2, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 27

I'm preoccupied. Is this over the top? Yes. But I was never less sorry.

Gentry entered the stall as if it were a yacht.
“Not bad. Blue walls. Spacious enough for seven people.” He paused before a graffiti tag on the wall,“One-of-a-kind art.”
Zach closed the door behind him,“Don’t mock me.”
Gentry’s lips brushed against his,“I’m not here to mock you. Everyone else does that already.”
“I damn well know why you’re here.” Zach arched his neck to allow Gentry more access to the soft dark skin,“And… they mock me for being different, I mock them for being the same.”
“Yeah, but their army is bigger than yours.”
“Bigger isn’t better.”
A smirk flashed,“It depends.”
“Is that all you think about?”
Gentry smirked, kissing Zach only to feel him hesitate.
“Why should I waste my time thinking about idiots?” he licked the tender skin between Zach’s neck and shoulder,“When there are better things to think about?”
Zach grimaced,“Like Ms.Nasty bitching at us again?”
Gentry ignored him, sliding his hands under Zach’s sweatshirt and caressing the soft, dark skin it hid.
“We’re still in public, does that mean anything? I’m starting to think you’re an exhibitionist.”
“About time.” Gentry murmured, nibbling at his earlobe, “If… Ms.Nasty followed us here… she would only see two boys fucking. The only reason she gives a fuck is that she isn’t getting any.”
Zach made a soft sound as Gentry’s tongue flicked into the inner shell.
The conversation was lost in a tangle of tongues and limbs.
It was easy to give into feeling… almost too easy. Perhaps a girl would have considered herself taken advantage of, but Zach was not a girl. And how could something that felt so good be any sort of taking? If at all, it was giving…
“Gentry… crap…stop teasing…”
“Your ass can wait.” Gentry murmured, undoing Zach’s pants.
“Why do you have to tease me?”
“Because you make the sexiest sounds when I do.”
The lunch bell that sounded in the distance marked the end of lunch, but the slightly awkward yet heated actions continued in the stall. Gentry gave a muffled laugh as his back hit the stall door, Zach taking the lead.
It didn’t last long, however, since the stall door broke and its unfortunate inhabitants tumbled out unceremoniously.
The janitor stood there wide-eyed, dropping his mop to the floor with a startled gasp.