Monday, April 9, 2007

Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 29

Meet the Johnsons.

Ms.Nasty took the document into her hands, staring up at the jovial man who handed it to her and his beautiful redheaded wife.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lee Johnson, let me just say that I am as shocked by all this as you are.” Ms.Nasty stated. Sophia gave a sweet, embarrassed smile.
“We’re a God fearing family,” she stated, “We don’t know how this happened, but we’re terribly sorry.”
Ms.Nasty took a deep breath, “School rules state ‘sexual harassment’ will be posted in the records of both of the people involved… I’m not allowed to reveal the name of the other party by law.”
Mr.Lee Johnson gave a firm nod,“I understand, Ms.Nasty. But let me tell you I also understand what you are implying. However, we know our son and believe this is all a big misunderstanding. The following court documents illustrate that Gentry has a medical condition known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which can cause poor judgment. Sometimes Gentry just wants everything to be perfect, which explains why he was in the bathroom stall trying to see if the repairs were successful. It is not clear why this person in question was there, but I firmly believe they are friends and perhaps started brawling.”
“But, Mr.Lee Johnson,” Ms.Nasty paused, “Gentry had his pants down.”
“Boys will be boys,” Mr.Lee Johnson laughed heartily, “I can’t explain these changing standards, but I know by what’s under Gentry’s mattress that he is not gay. He is a good student and has consistently shown good judgment in several endeavors, such as the swim club.”
Ms.Nasty pursed her lips, “But, Mr.Lee Johnson---“
“Ms.Nasty, my son loves this school. This is why he raised $1,500 at the last fundraiser auction and participates so actively in the swim team. He wants to be proud of this school, and wants the school to be proud of him. Believe me when I tell you that he is crushed by the thought that something like ‘sexual harassment’ might make it onto his record. Ms.Nasty, he gave this school everything he had because he is grateful for the opportunities this school gives to him. Please, do not abandon him because of a petty misunderstanding caused by a mental disorder. If you want more information on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, please, read through the documentation of it in the papers I have given you.”
Ms.Nasty shuffled through the thick stack, skimming it. Finally, she announced, “Thank you for enlightening me of Gentry’s condition. I had no idea. Based on the special circumstances, I will not put this incident in his permanent record.”
Sophia smiled and warmly drawled, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Ms.Nasty reached for her pen, and it slipped out of her fingers.
“Slippery little sucker.” She muttered, feebly picking the slippery thing up again.

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