Because You Suck: Chapter 22: Part 26

God, wars were exciting. And the office had never been more on edge— or more lively. Secretaries tromped past each other with fierce bravado and, save for the sound of their thick heels on the carpet or the occasional climper of a keyboard, the office was dead silent. High noon was about to start, and Johan and Delilah had just closed the doubled doors behind them with visible apprehension— polite people who never wanted to cause too much trouble. Gentry knew the type, smiling when he saw Zach saunter in behind them. He was dressed down, and a visible anxiety straining his features. What did he expect? That’s what happened when you resisted an officer.

Of course, Nasty wouldn’t have called the police if Zach hadn’t argued with the attendance lady. And the attendance lady wouldn’t have argued about the Delinquency (or two) she stamped on Zach’s permanent record if he would’ve checked into the office after that test. None of this would have happened if Zach would have stopped by the office before going to class. But no, Zach fucked up the natural order. Gentry perched his head on one hand. Delinquent.

Although it wasn’t his job, Gentry sat at the front desk. He almost always fooled people into thinking he was the secretary, because those kinds of things were easy with a grim expression and a firm voice. The real secretary was off on her lunch break, but parents didn’t know and at the moment, neither did the office.

“Can you be helped?” Gentry asked the man who approached the bar. This was probably Mr. Johan Tyler. But you were not supposed to use peoples’ names when addressing them; only students did that. Adults used “you” a lot, and if they didn’t it was because you were probably in trouble.

“We have an appointment with Grau Harolds, the Principal?”

“He’s busy. Please take a seat by the door.”

Because You Suck: Chapter 22: Part 25

Note (to Susan:) So much for me not flaking off, huh ;)? Your words literally brought a tear to my eyes. Thank you :). Yours is the first, and only, human-written comment of this entire year. I thought nobody read this story anymore, and figured no one would notice if I didn't post all of it. I'm glad I was wrong. I'll update it again, regularily this time.

Additional Note: Aha! Type-o's fixed. Thanks to Susan, the awesome editor :3. Inconsistencies are fun!

Letter Addressed to the School Board

June 14, 2007

10AM:

Union High School District

SUSPENSION NOTICE

Date: 6-14-07

Partial Days: 1

Full Days: 2

Grade Level/Grade Year: 011/2007

ID #: 698822

Since we at Kennedy High school are interested in maintain ing our close relationship with the home, this notice is sent to inform you that Zach Tyler has been suspended for: insubordination

Because this represents a serious violation of our stanfards and of our education code 48900 k, Zach has been suspended and may return to school on 4-21-07.

Sincerely,

(indeterminable signature)

Attached: Statement by Zach Tyler

I was called out at the beginning of 3rd period. I was mad about that, because I already told the secretary that I don’t like being called out of class. Not all my teachers post their homework online so if I miss their lecture, I could miss homework information. A large part of my grade is participation, and it suffers when I’m not in class. When I went to see the attendance secretary, Ms.Peruvia, she said that I had two offenses which would be on my permanent record. When I asked for verification, she said that I should already know the policy, since it was explained to me and she had documented it. When I figured out what she meant, I answered that I didn’t check back into the office for my yellow “return” slip after returning from the test. I told her that if she wanted proof I came back, she could see my teacher’s attendance list, and that the policy didn’t matter because she knew where I was, and that was all that counted. Then I also told her to stop calling me out of class, since part of my grade is on partitipation and class time was already ticking away.

She answered that she did not like my tone, and that she could call me out of class whenever she wanted. Then she called Ms. Nasty, asking me to talk to her. Ms. Nasty and I also don’t get along ever since she threatened me with a dress code violation which was fake, since the outfit I wore broke no violations I had heard of or she could think of. There is no official dress code, I already told her that. But she doesn’t want to argue out points, and makes it clear that you must obey her way, or no way. She talked to me as if I were a dog, motioning “come here” with her hand and behaving very rudely. I had no desire to speak with her, because she wasn’t the one who called me out of class this time. I was threatened with suspension. I said I would only leave with Ms. Nasty if Ms. Peruvia would secure me an appointment where we could come to an agreement on the issue of calling me out of class. She would do no such thing, so they threatened to call the police. I told them they could do what they wanted, because I wasn’t leaving until I got that appointment. Ms. Nasty guarded the door and called in Mr. Brokeshaw, while complaining about how I was wasting her time. Mr. Brokeshaw seemed visibly upset.

There were two police officers, Mr. Linden and an unnamed balding one. They told me to move to the principal’s room, but I declined because he was not where my problem was. I was forcefully pulled out of the room. The unnamed officer was holding too tightly on my arm, and I tried to loosen his grip by complaining of pain and moving my arm slightly. He grabbed my arm harder, yelling at me, twisting it even though I loudly complained it hurt my bones. In Mr. Harold’s office, the balding officer told me to get into a chair. I did not want to sit down, so he yelled at me and very roughly pushed me into the chair. He then proceeded to call me a “very annoying problem.” He demanded to know my grades, and Mr. Harold made a wavering motion with his hand. But I had no problems with my principal since he was more professional. Mr.Harold was helpful and understanding, but I don’t think there was much he could do about the secretaries. He doesn’t watch them.

Because You Suck: Chapter 22: Part 24

Note: Sorry if this totally clogged your inbox! And no, this is not the -end- of BYS. After counting the pages, I realized that if I keep posting sections like this, BYS will hit the SPAM filter. So, I calculated that if I post once a day, the whole thing will be up by the time February ends... marking the real end of BYS. So, it's on. No antisocial flakiness this time.

Just as Zach left Johnson’s office, Nasty snapped her fingers at him. She didn’t say one word, just shoved another yellow note in his hands and told him that the attendance officer needed to see him.
“Attendance officer? You mean Ms.Peruvia, the attendance lady?”
“The attendance officer. Get going, she’s very busy.”
“That’s what she’s paid for,” Zach thought to himself, as he headed over to her tiny office at the far side of the rectangular building.

It all happened so quickly, but somehow it ended with Zach quietly crying in the office, sobbing that,
“I can’t go to Juvenile hall! What would I tell my cellmate? That I’m here because I refused to leave the office? I can’t go to Juvenile hall…”
The second officer stood up and left the office, only to be approached by a slender wide-eyed black woman who demand what was wrong and where her son was. He didn’t have to guess, he already knew whose mother she was.
“I’m sorry. Your son’s all right, nothing happened. Everything just happened so quickly.”

Because You Suck: Chapter 22: Part 23

Johnson breathed in deeply, took of his glasses, and rubbed the side of his forehead.
“I’ve checked the notes written about you and your record… you’ve been written up more than once. And even if Gentry knows his way around computers, I will let you in on a secret. The school keeps those records in written form, and if your future college calls us, we tell them about personal problems we have with you. That’s how, if you keep getting low grades, sitting in detention, and risking suspension, you could be throwing away your future.”
Zach frowned, blue eyes growing cloudy at the thought of a bleak future where it would just be him with his ideas, unable to change the world. Like that homeless man he saw on street the other day, standing outside the convenience store with “Jesus is Dead” stitched on the flea-bitten rug hanging over his cart— A statement ignored by people passing by, a look of silent death on his face. Was this Gentry’s fear, too? Growing old and haunted by missed opportunities, permanently stuck that moment in time when you realize your time of brilliance has passed?
That one brilliant moment.
“You have potential, Zach. You have potential to shine brightly if you do the right things. Your idealism should never get in the way of your education, because education is the key to social advancement. You need to approach the world more realistically if you want to become successful.”
“Why don’t you tell that to Gentry.”
Johnson made a face, then leaned his elbows down on the table.
“Do you know why the cameras in the office don’t work?”
“No.”
“Gentry would never have made it to the swim team without my help. During his freshman year he torched the office. He destroyed the cameras and every paper file, but no one ever suspected him— I made sure of that. I forced him to join the swim team, then had him lead a fundraiser to rebuild the office. Thousands of dollars of my hard-earned money and every legal resource I had went into my son’s clean record. I can’t remember how many times I’ve asked him why he did it.”

Zach sunk low in his seat, and said in a near-whisper, “What did he say?”

“He told me they should have been prepared, because you never know what happens. Even now he keeps a lighter on him, just to make me angry. But I’m not angry, Zach. I’m frustrated. Gentry lives to manipulate others… he likes to have power, but doesn’t know what to do with it because he has no goal. He also has no steady virtues to go by, but it’s not his fault he was born that way. Yet you can’t fix that, and you can’t fix him.”

“I don’t want to fix him,” Zach protested “and that story doesn’t scare me. I like him the way he is. If you love someone, you take the dirt with the rest. You think I don’t know what you’re telling me? I do. I also know that he was there for me when no one else was. That he gives a fuck about me, and takes me seriously. Whatever bad parts he has, I can handle them. We fight because he knows me like he does, and that’s also why I love him. Because no one else is strong enough to take me on, and no one else cares enough to think about the things I say.”

“Zach, you’re a sweet kid. You have all these ideas about what love is and isn’t… about what’s right and wrong. And you have hope that people will do something just because it’s logical and fair. But people aren’t always like that. Gentry isn’t just fighting you, he’s fighting everybody. Why? Because he wants to prove that he’s strong enough not to need anybody. You aren’t like that, Zach. You want people, you want to make connections, have friends, be loved completely. That’s perfectly normal, but not everyone is born that way. Some people are exceptions to the rule. Some people are born to be wrong. And no matter how sincere you are, there will come a time where will drift apart. Eventually you will get tired of his constant problems, his destructiveness, his anger. You want things, too, Zach… things he can’t or won’t give you.”

“Yeah, well. You can’t just give up on someone because they don’t give you things.” Came the reluctant reply.

“It’s your call, Zach... but don’t let your idealism get in the way of your education.” Johnson stood up and slid him the grade report, “It’s a harsh world out there, and if you don’t fight for yourself, no one will.”

Because You Suck: Chapter 22: Part 22

“It’s quite a leap from the D you had in your first quarter, yet I won’t ask how that happened because I have a feeling I already know. Generally, you get good grades. Your Estonian records show all-A’s. I find that remarkable, and proof of your capabilities. Yet during your freshman and sophomore years, you began to get C’s and B’s.”

“I don’t know why you’re telling me what I already know.”

“You have a lot of potential, Zach. You have the potential to be the star of this school. To be a leader.”

“Why would I want to lead a bunch of morons?”

“I have a question for you.” Johnson paused and leaned back into his seat, hands folded in his lap, “Why are you so defensive?”

Zach sunk back in his seat, shrugged limply and said, “I’m not defensive.”

“You talk quickly, and frown a lot. I can see it in your eyes, you are waiting for me to stop talking so you can say something. You may say you aren’t defensive, but your body language and your eyes say that you are. But I don’t blame you, it’s a tough world out there— What are you exactly, Zach? I’ve been to Estonia before, yet I’ve never seen anyone who looked like you.”

“No two people look alike. But I know what you’re saying, since I hear it all the time. I’m mixed.”

“Well, Zach. I don’t know how tolerant Estonia is, but in America, we have scholarship opportunities for this. You could be eligible for quite a few, and you already have the intelligence and capability to unite people. Biracial is the future.”
Zach eyed him warily, drawing back and crossing his arms over his chest.

Johnson continued, “However, I believe you’re heading down the wrong path. Right now, you may care about clothing or gay rights, or about true love. But all that will change. Things come together and fall apart, experiences deepen your mind and shift your priorities. Yet whoever you are, it won’t matter if your grades are low. Your grades reflect how much you learn, and how much you understand what you learn. They allow you to become powerful enough to change things.”

Because You Suck: Chapter 22: Part 21

Johnson hesitated for a moment, but then nodded somberly. He had expected this as well.

“I thought as much. I don’t think I’ll ever see it again, and I can only worry what will happen to it now. You probably gave it back to him for nothing, since you view protecting his secrets as more important than protecting yourself… or even what you believe in. You’re a good kid, Zach, you love with all you’ve got. If I had a friend like you in high school, who knows…” his voice drifted off.
“Back when I was your age, I strongly believed in a greater moral order. When injustice happened, I believed that someone would come and make it right. And when nothing happened, I thought life would end. But life didn’t stop for me; it doesn’t stop for anybody. My son… I realized early on what he is; that he is a homosexual. I tried my best to be a father to him, but I don’t think he ever accepted me. We have our differences, but I don’t and simply can’t hate him for the way he’s born. He’s my son.”
“He’s your son, and you raped him.”
“I understand I can’t change your mind.” He released the breath he'd been holding and leaned forward on his elbows, “I guess I could have been there for him more when I had the chance, when he first got involved with that older boy. Things got out of hand after that, but judging this isn’t as simple as deciding what’s ‘good’ and what’s ‘bad.’ I have my problems, Zach, and he has his. Two problems was all it took, and it’s what keeps us from healing and being the family we could be. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just how it is. I’m getting help, but he still needs to admit that he needs it.”
Zach shifted uncomfortably, and Johnson coughed. He leaned over to his computer, clicked a few keys, then leaned back as the printer began to buzz. He took a sip of water from the mug on his desk, then affirmatively said,
“I’m going to give you a copy of your grade transcript. Are you aware that you currently have a B+ in literature?”
“… No.” Zach said, startled, “I didn’t know.”

Because You Suck: Chapter 22: Part 20

“As you might be aware, I am your guidance counselor. And we need to have a relationship where you can trust me, and I can trust you. Do you trust me?”
“I don’t know you,” Zach drawled absently, “so I can’t trust you.”
Johnson nodded soberly.
He briefly eyed the belongings on his desk, making sure they were still in their place.

“I’ll try this again.” He said patiently, “You aren’t a stranger to me, Zach. I’m fully aware of what my son is doing with you.”

Zach again remained silent, because it was true. And there was nothing useful he could say at this point, when silence was run over by his wildly beating heart. It was a little eerie the way his voice had the same rhythm as Gentry’s, and how his eyes lit up in that same murky stare. They were the same smoldering dark he’d grown accustomed to, holding something wild about them. Gentry had that too, sometimes… as if there was something waiting to leap out, a word waiting to be shouted. Undoubtedly, this guy was Gentry’s father. Yet it still felt odd to think about Gentry as this guy’s son.
“…Oh.” Zach finally replied, sensing right after that his timing was probably off.
Johnson drew a long breath, rolled back his seat and stood up to close the door.
“Well, seeing as you won’t talk,” he drawled retaking his seat, “I hope that you will listen.”
Johnson sighed and leaned back, hands folded over his stomach.
“What you see in Gentry is what he wants you to see. And you’ve probably learned a few things about me, and that my family’s homelife isn’t perfect. I’ll admit, we’ve been through some tough times. But I still like to think that we’re a family.”

“—You’re not.”

Johnson’s eyes lit for a moment, yet his voice remained firm and even.
“Why would you think that?”
“… Families live together.”
Lee Johnson sighed.
“My son left home, and it’s pulling the family apart. But he decided that on his own, and I’ve given up asking why he does anything. Believe me, we both know that he can be convincing when he wants to. If he’d wanted to stay, he would have— he’s got a strong mind in him. But he also has problems, and don’t think for a second that just because he isn’t living with me that I don’t care about him. My wife and I were there for him before you knew who he was— and it hurts us as much as it hurts you to watch him destroy himself, knowing there’s nothing I can do. Yet he’s my son, and I know better than anyone that I can’t force him to come home.” Johnson took another deep breath, and softly added, “However, I don’t think that your apprehension towards me stems from that.”
Zach gazed at him critically. He turned the words over in his head, but couldn’t find any flaw. Just wild thoughts racing through his mind.
“Do you think I’m a monster?” asked Mr.Johnson, “a child molester?”
Zach’s mouth went dry.
Johnson gave an affirmative, close-lipped smile.
“I thought it would come down to this. There’s no use in skirting around the issue, so let’s get to the heart of the matter. I believe that you’ve come across a picture which belonged to me.”
“I did.” Zach replied without hesitation, “And that’s why I don’t believe you. You don’t care about him; you caused his problems. If you want that picture back, you’re not getting it.”