Monday, February 4, 2008

Because You Suck: Chapter 11: Part 10

Zach spun around in his chair, and Mikey jumped on the bed, shaking his ass to the rhythm in nothing but a clingy pair of red boxer-briefs.
“What the hell, at least turn off the lights! People can see you from outside.”
“So?” Mikey started to strip off that clingy last piece of clothing, “They’ll wonder what you’re waiting for. Who cares about them, what about me? I feel like the Temple Prostitute civilizing Enkidu.”
“Who’s that?” asked Zach, taking a deep breath before turning back to his monitor. This was ridiculous!
“Epic of Gilgamesh, freshman year.”
“Ohh.” Zach nodded curtly, “Wasn’t that about some gay Babylonian guys? And the one with the big cock died of a wasting disease or something?”
“Yeah. How’d you know?”
Zach didn’t glorify that with a response.
Mikey stopped jumping and morosely settled onto the bedsheets, resting his head on two balled up fists.
“Was it Gentry?”
“No. I read it before I figured out how to delete porn from my browsing history. Stories are harder to track than porn.”
“Ok. So… what are you doing now that’s more important than me?”
“Writing this on my list.” Answered Zach, mostly to change the subject.
“What list?”
“The list of every gay thing I’ve ever done.” He opened a new window, biting his tongue through the awkward silence than ensued this bold statement, “I keep a Gay Timeline. Every time I do something gay, I write it here with a date. That way, when I come out, my parents won’t say they didn’t know or that I’m a different person because of it.”
“You’re joking.”
“No, look here. I’ve kept it since I was nine.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“It will be useful in the future.” Zach scratched the back of his head and sheepishly explained, “They can’t say they don’t accept me as a son, since I’ve been exhibiting signs of gayness all this time. So logically, if they accepted me before despite my signs, they should have no reason not to accept me now.”
“Signs of gayness...” Mikey leaned over his shoulder.
“Yes, signs of gayness. I rate them, too, on a scale from one to ten.” Zach spun around in his chair, “Why do you care?”
Mikey pulled him into a drawn out, slippery kiss, “I don’t.”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh gawd, a Gay List lol
very original