“Are you crying?”
No answer, just that familiar muffled sound.
“Christ, Zach.”
Gentry sighed, and looked out the window at the flashing light of the police siren. Officer Shandy was helping the woman ease the carcass into an extra-strength trashbag, their movements and shadows warped by the flickering light. After a few more minutes of hushed sniffling, Gentry reluctantly looked back at him again.
“I’m sorry.”
He then slumped against the window, averting his eyes.
The soft reply barely reached him:
“I know.”
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 12
The Wildlife Center creaked up soon enough in a gray pickup truck, with a single officer who loudly slammed shut her car door. Officer Shandy gestured towards Zach, and her hard blue eyes took him in. She was stout and red-cheeked young woman with a hard voice, and the first thing she told him was,
“I’ll need you to move away so I can take a look at the injury.”
Zach did so without comment, moving to stand next to Gentry, who had instinctively pulled away on his own. Close, but not too close. They both watched her: Zach with curiosity and Gentry with skepticism, until Officer Shandy piped up, “I’ll drive you guys home. Where do you live?”
“I….”
“Don’t tell me, write it down.” he said, handing Zach a notepad and a pen. While Zach scribbled down the location, his powder-blue jacket landed at Gentry’s feet. After a few minutes, the woman spoke up.
“Well,” she said brightly, “I don’t see any way this animal can return to the wild with its current injuries.”
Zach abruptly stopped scrawling unreadable letters on the notepad.
“Will it be okay?”
“It won’t be able to return to the wild.” She stressed, firmly.
“Yeah. So?”
A sick feeling settled in the pit of Gentry’s stomach, but he kept silent. This was not going to end well. He had that feeling.
“The wildlife shelter only accepts animals that can return to the wild.” Said the woman, “That’s our policy. I had to put it down.”
Gentry instinctively held Zach back, but his grip wasn’t strong enough to keep him from storming up to her, and glancing down at the deer carcass. The woman gawked up at him blankly as she said:
“I know this must be hard for you.”
Zach remained speechless as he looked down at the animal, which still had its glazed eyes wide open. Eyes which were ridid with death, glazed over and foggy. It still looked warm, like it might raise its head again. Yet now the flies were swarming around in those gelled yellow orbs, eating away at them with a low buzz. He stifled back the stinging feeling in the back of his throat. There was a lump building there, a sickness that woudn't go away anytime soon. Gentry moved next to him, cast her an angry look he knew wouldn’t bring anything, and gently said, “Come on Zach, let’s go.”
“No.” he looked to the wildlife official, “You think it’s hard for me? That deer’s dead because you killed it. That deer’s dead because it didn’t have a pack to defend it. You killed it! You didn’t have to, but you did--- and that's murder— you're a murder, even if there’s no law against it!”
“I know this must be hard for you—”
“Shut up!" Zach ground out, but didn't yell. He added quietly, "Just shut the fuck up— I know you. You people ask for donations from my parents to save Bald Eagles. You save the Eagles and put them in your brochure!”
“Bald Eagles are an endangered species. Deer are not. I’m sorry, this must be hard for you.”
Officer Shandy piped up, “That deer wouldn’t have survived in nature. It’s natural to kill it.”
“It’s natural to survive.”
Gentry pulled Zach towards the police car by his wrist, but Zach pulled his hand back and got in himself.
“I’ll need you to move away so I can take a look at the injury.”
Zach did so without comment, moving to stand next to Gentry, who had instinctively pulled away on his own. Close, but not too close. They both watched her: Zach with curiosity and Gentry with skepticism, until Officer Shandy piped up, “I’ll drive you guys home. Where do you live?”
“I….”
“Don’t tell me, write it down.” he said, handing Zach a notepad and a pen. While Zach scribbled down the location, his powder-blue jacket landed at Gentry’s feet. After a few minutes, the woman spoke up.
“Well,” she said brightly, “I don’t see any way this animal can return to the wild with its current injuries.”
Zach abruptly stopped scrawling unreadable letters on the notepad.
“Will it be okay?”
“It won’t be able to return to the wild.” She stressed, firmly.
“Yeah. So?”
A sick feeling settled in the pit of Gentry’s stomach, but he kept silent. This was not going to end well. He had that feeling.
“The wildlife shelter only accepts animals that can return to the wild.” Said the woman, “That’s our policy. I had to put it down.”
Gentry instinctively held Zach back, but his grip wasn’t strong enough to keep him from storming up to her, and glancing down at the deer carcass. The woman gawked up at him blankly as she said:
“I know this must be hard for you.”
Zach remained speechless as he looked down at the animal, which still had its glazed eyes wide open. Eyes which were ridid with death, glazed over and foggy. It still looked warm, like it might raise its head again. Yet now the flies were swarming around in those gelled yellow orbs, eating away at them with a low buzz. He stifled back the stinging feeling in the back of his throat. There was a lump building there, a sickness that woudn't go away anytime soon. Gentry moved next to him, cast her an angry look he knew wouldn’t bring anything, and gently said, “Come on Zach, let’s go.”
“No.” he looked to the wildlife official, “You think it’s hard for me? That deer’s dead because you killed it. That deer’s dead because it didn’t have a pack to defend it. You killed it! You didn’t have to, but you did--- and that's murder— you're a murder, even if there’s no law against it!”
“I know this must be hard for you—”
“Shut up!" Zach ground out, but didn't yell. He added quietly, "Just shut the fuck up— I know you. You people ask for donations from my parents to save Bald Eagles. You save the Eagles and put them in your brochure!”
“Bald Eagles are an endangered species. Deer are not. I’m sorry, this must be hard for you.”
Officer Shandy piped up, “That deer wouldn’t have survived in nature. It’s natural to kill it.”
“It’s natural to survive.”
Gentry pulled Zach towards the police car by his wrist, but Zach pulled his hand back and got in himself.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 12
Note: Zach might seem over the top, and he is. This ongoing prom scene is actually based on a true story that happened in the US (though not in my high school.) A group of students were drinking and driving on their way to the prom. They hit a deer, but didn't call police or 911 because they were scared of being prosecuted for underage drinking/drinking while driving. The report didn't express any remourse.
What a night this was turning out to be.
Gentry hoped the officer would finish quickly, since he knew damn well that no one could reason with Zach about these kinds of things. He reasoned it was a good thing that this was not Alabama, since in Alabama, the officer would have asked if Zach wanted permission to take the roadkill home and cook it as deer-meat. That wouldn’t have ended well.
After a lengthy back-and-forth phone conversation, the officer finally spoke up and said,
“You know what… it might be best to put that thing out of its misery—”
“—No!” Zach exclaimed immediately, and Gentry sighed along with him.
“Hear me out. That animal has lost a lot of blood—”
“—But it’s not dead yet, so stop acting like it is. It’s still moving! While you were taking your time getting here, it was fighting to stay alive... and I'm not about to let you shoot it. You don’t shoot human car accident victims!”
Gentry looked away during Zach’s outburst, then reluctantly eyed the man and asked, “Can the Humane Society come here?”
“I’ll give it a try, but I don’t guarantee anything. But the Humane Society aren’t responsible for these types of things… what you want is the Penitentiary Road Wildlife Center. But don’t you raise your voice at me; you should be happy that you’re alive. People get killed from deer hitting their cars more often than you realize. Transporting a deer is dangerous since it could have ticks—”
“Please," Gentry implored him, "just call them already.”
The officer reluctantly dialed a number on his cellphone, and sighed into the receiver:
“Hello, is this the Wildlife Center? Yeah, this is officer Shandy. There’s a deer in the road, it was hit by a car. Get over here.”
He hung up and said, “They’ll be here in about fifteen minutes.”
“Thanks.” Zach grumbled.
The deer feebly lay its head down on the asphalt.
What a night this was turning out to be.
Gentry hoped the officer would finish quickly, since he knew damn well that no one could reason with Zach about these kinds of things. He reasoned it was a good thing that this was not Alabama, since in Alabama, the officer would have asked if Zach wanted permission to take the roadkill home and cook it as deer-meat. That wouldn’t have ended well.
After a lengthy back-and-forth phone conversation, the officer finally spoke up and said,
“You know what… it might be best to put that thing out of its misery—”
“—No!” Zach exclaimed immediately, and Gentry sighed along with him.
“Hear me out. That animal has lost a lot of blood—”
“—But it’s not dead yet, so stop acting like it is. It’s still moving! While you were taking your time getting here, it was fighting to stay alive... and I'm not about to let you shoot it. You don’t shoot human car accident victims!”
Gentry looked away during Zach’s outburst, then reluctantly eyed the man and asked, “Can the Humane Society come here?”
“I’ll give it a try, but I don’t guarantee anything. But the Humane Society aren’t responsible for these types of things… what you want is the Penitentiary Road Wildlife Center. But don’t you raise your voice at me; you should be happy that you’re alive. People get killed from deer hitting their cars more often than you realize. Transporting a deer is dangerous since it could have ticks—”
“Please," Gentry implored him, "just call them already.”
The officer reluctantly dialed a number on his cellphone, and sighed into the receiver:
“Hello, is this the Wildlife Center? Yeah, this is officer Shandy. There’s a deer in the road, it was hit by a car. Get over here.”
He hung up and said, “They’ll be here in about fifteen minutes.”
“Thanks.” Zach grumbled.
The deer feebly lay its head down on the asphalt.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 11
It pulled to a stop by some bushes, and an officer slowly climbed out with a flashlight in hand, shining it over at Zach.
“What’s going on here?” he asked briskly, in a voice that sounded like he was chewing on tissue paper. Zach shielded his eyes.
“My ride hit this deer.”
“It’s a half hour past curfew… Where’s your ‘ride’ now?” the officer asked, lips hardly moving lips to form his words. He was a burly man with hair on his forearms and a neatly trimmed mustache, holding on to a stern expression tinged by late-night tiredness. It looked like he didn’t want to be here, so Gentry kept his voice soft when answering:
“At the prom.”
“Well, you’ll want to call the Sanitation Department for that. I’ll give you their number…”
“I know damn well what the sanitation department does, and we don’t need it.” Zach spoke up, “We need medical care.”
The officer promptly flashed his light at the deer, “I still have to patrol real crimes tonight...” the light fell on the rainbow GSA bracelet which hung loosely around Zach’s wrist, “may I ask what both of you are doing here together—”
“Our girls went to the prom without us.” Gentry quickly answered, and the officer shone his light back on Zach, who snapped:
“Turn that fucking thing off already! What we’re doing here is none of your business—”
“—Zach, shut up.” Gentry fired back at him, as the officer inquired,
“Are either of you aware that deer carry lyme disease?”
“If it was a person with AIDS—”
“—We didn’t want our dates to miss curfew.” Gentry interrupted Zach, “We stayed behind because it’s dangerous to be out here alone, and that deer— we can’t leave a hurt animal in the road. It might cause an accident.”
The officer eyed him skeptically, shone his flashlight out into the tree-lined distance and firmly said, “I’ll take care of it. You and your friend can take the bus... The nearest station is about three miles away, down this road.”
“You just want us to leave so you can kill it!”
“Zach, quiet. Look, officer. Is there anyone you can call?”
The officer stared at him with cool-eyed contempt, yet Gentry went on undeterred,
“We’re not leaving this deer behind.”
The officer gave a gruff sigh and Gentry added, “I can put my coat on the seat…”
“I’ll have to ask my superiors.” The officer pulled out his cellphone, and dialed a number. Gentry looked back at Zach, who gave him a look worth reckoning with.
“What’s going on here?” he asked briskly, in a voice that sounded like he was chewing on tissue paper. Zach shielded his eyes.
“My ride hit this deer.”
“It’s a half hour past curfew… Where’s your ‘ride’ now?” the officer asked, lips hardly moving lips to form his words. He was a burly man with hair on his forearms and a neatly trimmed mustache, holding on to a stern expression tinged by late-night tiredness. It looked like he didn’t want to be here, so Gentry kept his voice soft when answering:
“At the prom.”
“Well, you’ll want to call the Sanitation Department for that. I’ll give you their number…”
“I know damn well what the sanitation department does, and we don’t need it.” Zach spoke up, “We need medical care.”
The officer promptly flashed his light at the deer, “I still have to patrol real crimes tonight...” the light fell on the rainbow GSA bracelet which hung loosely around Zach’s wrist, “may I ask what both of you are doing here together—”
“Our girls went to the prom without us.” Gentry quickly answered, and the officer shone his light back on Zach, who snapped:
“Turn that fucking thing off already! What we’re doing here is none of your business—”
“—Zach, shut up.” Gentry fired back at him, as the officer inquired,
“Are either of you aware that deer carry lyme disease?”
“If it was a person with AIDS—”
“—We didn’t want our dates to miss curfew.” Gentry interrupted Zach, “We stayed behind because it’s dangerous to be out here alone, and that deer— we can’t leave a hurt animal in the road. It might cause an accident.”
The officer eyed him skeptically, shone his flashlight out into the tree-lined distance and firmly said, “I’ll take care of it. You and your friend can take the bus... The nearest station is about three miles away, down this road.”
“You just want us to leave so you can kill it!”
“Zach, quiet. Look, officer. Is there anyone you can call?”
The officer stared at him with cool-eyed contempt, yet Gentry went on undeterred,
“We’re not leaving this deer behind.”
The officer gave a gruff sigh and Gentry added, “I can put my coat on the seat…”
“I’ll have to ask my superiors.” The officer pulled out his cellphone, and dialed a number. Gentry looked back at Zach, who gave him a look worth reckoning with.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 10
The wind howled through the tall dark trees, swirling a few leaves into the street. Their wrinkled edges rustled against the asphalt, and for a moment it seemed as if though were dancing. Zach caught one in his hand and crushed it in his fingers.
“How’d you find me?”
“I asked.”
The knowing scoff that passed for a reply left Gentry to quietly add, “There’ll be another bus here in five minutes. If you still want to go.”
“And what, leave this deer for a drunk driver to roll over? Seriously; does it take a law for you to do the right thing?”
Gentry breathed a heavy sigh and didn’t answer that, while Zach glumly fell silent and stared out into the darkness, towards the flickering light in the distance. Things stayed like that for about a minute, until Gentry said:
“Never thought you were into Deer Rights. Maybe you should start a club for that. Deer, Christians, gays… same difference.”
“Stop making fun of me.”
“I’m not, I’m just thinking. Why wait for the GSA to promote you? Make a club about anything. Hang up a poster and call it ‘raising awareness,’ ask your parents for donations and call it ‘fundraising.’ As long as you’re President, it won’t matter of what. You should show up to prom just to mention that there’s a deer in the road. Kennedy would probably promote animal rights over gay rights.”
“That’s messed up.”
“You know what’s messed up? Even if that deer survives, the pack will reject it because it smells human. If you care, you’ll kill it yourself.”
Zach made a face, “We don’t kill humans just because they don’t fit in to the pack.”
“That’s not a human.” Gentry reminded him, at which Zach angrily shot back,
“Same concept.”
“What if I told you I’d shoot humans?”
“Then I’d say you don’t mean that.”
“Why?”
“Because if it was someone you liked, you’d take it back.”
At this point, Gentry realized that arguing about this wouldn’t solve a damn thing. So he shrugged carelessly, then turned his attention towards the dusty street. Somewhere in the bushes a frog was croaking, and the undergrowth rustled from the wind and tiny creatures scurrying about their business. Although the burning stink of blood hung heavy in the air, curdling every sense it reached, the creatures of the night went on undisturbed. Life went on, even when it ended. Gentry didn’t believe in any after-life but the one on earth, because the world didn’t stop after death.
“How’s prom?” Zach asked for the sake of asking.
“You aren’t missing anything.” Gentry snuck a glance at him.
“And this is much better.” Came the sarcastic reply.
“You’re here.”
Zach stalled, and glanced back at him quickly enough to catch him looking away.
“And?” he teased, just a little.
At that moment the sirens flashed and yelped in the distance, along with the rumbling noise of a small police car.
“How’d you find me?”
“I asked.”
The knowing scoff that passed for a reply left Gentry to quietly add, “There’ll be another bus here in five minutes. If you still want to go.”
“And what, leave this deer for a drunk driver to roll over? Seriously; does it take a law for you to do the right thing?”
Gentry breathed a heavy sigh and didn’t answer that, while Zach glumly fell silent and stared out into the darkness, towards the flickering light in the distance. Things stayed like that for about a minute, until Gentry said:
“Never thought you were into Deer Rights. Maybe you should start a club for that. Deer, Christians, gays… same difference.”
“Stop making fun of me.”
“I’m not, I’m just thinking. Why wait for the GSA to promote you? Make a club about anything. Hang up a poster and call it ‘raising awareness,’ ask your parents for donations and call it ‘fundraising.’ As long as you’re President, it won’t matter of what. You should show up to prom just to mention that there’s a deer in the road. Kennedy would probably promote animal rights over gay rights.”
“That’s messed up.”
“You know what’s messed up? Even if that deer survives, the pack will reject it because it smells human. If you care, you’ll kill it yourself.”
Zach made a face, “We don’t kill humans just because they don’t fit in to the pack.”
“That’s not a human.” Gentry reminded him, at which Zach angrily shot back,
“Same concept.”
“What if I told you I’d shoot humans?”
“Then I’d say you don’t mean that.”
“Why?”
“Because if it was someone you liked, you’d take it back.”
At this point, Gentry realized that arguing about this wouldn’t solve a damn thing. So he shrugged carelessly, then turned his attention towards the dusty street. Somewhere in the bushes a frog was croaking, and the undergrowth rustled from the wind and tiny creatures scurrying about their business. Although the burning stink of blood hung heavy in the air, curdling every sense it reached, the creatures of the night went on undisturbed. Life went on, even when it ended. Gentry didn’t believe in any after-life but the one on earth, because the world didn’t stop after death.
“How’s prom?” Zach asked for the sake of asking.
“You aren’t missing anything.” Gentry snuck a glance at him.
“And this is much better.” Came the sarcastic reply.
“You’re here.”
Zach stalled, and glanced back at him quickly enough to catch him looking away.
“And?” he teased, just a little.
At that moment the sirens flashed and yelped in the distance, along with the rumbling noise of a small police car.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 9
Note: Happy B-lated B-day to sweetzsugar! Read her story "An Unforgettable Summer" here. It's really good.
The first thing Zach did was stomp as hard as he could on the attacker’s foot, drawing out a pained,
“Ow!”
Abruptly he stopped, spun around, and exclaimed, “Fuck! Are you crazy?”
“You’re crazy for staying here.” Came the quiet reply, as Gentry drew out of the shadows. “What it wouldn’t have been me?”
“Then I would’ve felt sorry for them.”
Gentry grunted as if he’d expected that reply, and brushed past him.
“… I thought you decided not to go. But here you are. Nice outfit.”
“Save the remarks. I said I was going, so I did— stealing that stupid friendship bracelet wasn’t gonna change that.”
“Didn’t think it would. Did he notice it was gone?”
Zach didn’t glorify that with a reply. Instead he sat down on the road, and stared out into the darkness with a dogged certainty.
“Well,” Gentry went on easily, “here you are. All dressed up going nowhere. Now all that’s missing is a crowd of people who think you’re courageous for showing up to the prom and queer-dancing to Elvis… Is that deer really worth your magical evening?”
“How did you get here?” Zach demanded briskly, countering the newfound warmth in his cheeks as he turned to press his jacket on the deer’s wound. “And what are you doing here?”
“I took the bus.” Gentry murmured, sitting down beside him. His gaze shifted to glare down at the the animal, whose wide murky eyes gawked back at him soundlessly. The deer didn’t jump when Zach pressed his jacket into the area, which was growing dark with blood. Its eyes calmly lingered on Gentry, no spark of protest buried beneath the deep dark space. It was enough to make him say with some certainty:
“That deer will die.”
“It won’t.”
Gentry scoffed, sitting back with his elbows on the pavement.
“Why, because you called the police? They won’t come out here for a deer.” he told Zach matter-of-factly, then looked away with discomfort.
“Why not?”
“Because those drunk guys at prom will drive home.”
“He better be there. I’ll call him all night long if that’s what it takes. But he’ll be here. He said that he’s already on his way.”
Gentry groaned quietly, “God, Zach. Do you really believe that? Don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not stupid. You’re stupid for coming here.”
“Yeah, damn right I feel stupid now.”
The first thing Zach did was stomp as hard as he could on the attacker’s foot, drawing out a pained,
“Ow!”
Abruptly he stopped, spun around, and exclaimed, “Fuck! Are you crazy?”
“You’re crazy for staying here.” Came the quiet reply, as Gentry drew out of the shadows. “What it wouldn’t have been me?”
“Then I would’ve felt sorry for them.”
Gentry grunted as if he’d expected that reply, and brushed past him.
“… I thought you decided not to go. But here you are. Nice outfit.”
“Save the remarks. I said I was going, so I did— stealing that stupid friendship bracelet wasn’t gonna change that.”
“Didn’t think it would. Did he notice it was gone?”
Zach didn’t glorify that with a reply. Instead he sat down on the road, and stared out into the darkness with a dogged certainty.
“Well,” Gentry went on easily, “here you are. All dressed up going nowhere. Now all that’s missing is a crowd of people who think you’re courageous for showing up to the prom and queer-dancing to Elvis… Is that deer really worth your magical evening?”
“How did you get here?” Zach demanded briskly, countering the newfound warmth in his cheeks as he turned to press his jacket on the deer’s wound. “And what are you doing here?”
“I took the bus.” Gentry murmured, sitting down beside him. His gaze shifted to glare down at the the animal, whose wide murky eyes gawked back at him soundlessly. The deer didn’t jump when Zach pressed his jacket into the area, which was growing dark with blood. Its eyes calmly lingered on Gentry, no spark of protest buried beneath the deep dark space. It was enough to make him say with some certainty:
“That deer will die.”
“It won’t.”
Gentry scoffed, sitting back with his elbows on the pavement.
“Why, because you called the police? They won’t come out here for a deer.” he told Zach matter-of-factly, then looked away with discomfort.
“Why not?”
“Because those drunk guys at prom will drive home.”
“He better be there. I’ll call him all night long if that’s what it takes. But he’ll be here. He said that he’s already on his way.”
Gentry groaned quietly, “God, Zach. Do you really believe that? Don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not stupid. You’re stupid for coming here.”
“Yeah, damn right I feel stupid now.”
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 8
Note: I updated the missed parts from last week, starting on Because You Suck: Chapter 20: Part 6. Sorry for the late updates! They'll be more regular now that I'm feeling better...
Zach picked up a rock to throw after it, but tossed it to the ground instead. Even if he could hit the car, it wouldn’t ease his frustration. It wouldn't answer the hard and frost-bitten questions which lingered, questions Zach grudgingly cast aside. He loosened his tie, because it felt like it was choking him.
“Where’s your pack now?” Zach shivered, glancing back at the deer and thinly suppressing the trembling sensation which twitched up his spine. Probably it was from the cold, or perhaps it was because flies were beginning to swarm into the open wound, eating away at it like old fruit. Their dreary buzzing filled what used to be silence, aggressively fighting for their share. It was disgusting. The deer looked back at Zach with its large, sad eyes, imploring him in a way logic couldn’t. So he sighed gruffly and pulled off his coat, throwing it over the deer’s. Then Zach quickly turned away and cast a sharp look down the one-way street, reminding himself that, any moment now, the police would be here. Any moment now—
Suddenly a hand closed over his mouth, and pulled him back.
Zach picked up a rock to throw after it, but tossed it to the ground instead. Even if he could hit the car, it wouldn’t ease his frustration. It wouldn't answer the hard and frost-bitten questions which lingered, questions Zach grudgingly cast aside. He loosened his tie, because it felt like it was choking him.
“Where’s your pack now?” Zach shivered, glancing back at the deer and thinly suppressing the trembling sensation which twitched up his spine. Probably it was from the cold, or perhaps it was because flies were beginning to swarm into the open wound, eating away at it like old fruit. Their dreary buzzing filled what used to be silence, aggressively fighting for their share. It was disgusting. The deer looked back at Zach with its large, sad eyes, imploring him in a way logic couldn’t. So he sighed gruffly and pulled off his coat, throwing it over the deer’s. Then Zach quickly turned away and cast a sharp look down the one-way street, reminding himself that, any moment now, the police would be here. Any moment now—
Suddenly a hand closed over his mouth, and pulled him back.
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