“What. The. Hell.”
“Look at the library!”
“I’m looking at it---”
“Half GSA, half swim team. That’s nuts.”
“That makes me hungry. I like nuts.”
“Haha you said nuts!”
“Fuck you man! I’m not a faggot.”
“No disrespect… but now you won’t eat nuts anymore, Syd?”
“No… Just… stop talking about it.”
“… Wow, the library is half/half…”
“What an amazing show of diversity. If only real life was like this library. Yes, I always said people were like a crayonbox. Seperate colors, but equal.”
“Yeah, Casey, I agree with you.”
“Woah. What the--- Those posters look horrible together!”
“All that red, gray, and rainbow! It’s not working. They should have at least color-coordinated.”
“Yeah, some colors look better together than others.”
The principal looked outside his window, as he so often did, and marveled at how the two posters existed side by side.
How diverse! What a good principal he was!
He sent the mass e-mail out to the parents to remind them about fundraising and the Diversity & Cultural Festival, and then forwarded a memo to all janitors that they must take down the GSA posters in exactly one week--- right before the Festival.
He leaned back in his chair, hands balled in his lap, and decided that he liked gays, as long as they were lesbians. He would very much like to see that Spanish teacher, the one with the firm butt, kiss the English Literature teacher with the perky smile.