Because You Suck: Chapter 18: Part 2

Note: I switched the order of this post and the one before it (Because You Suck: Chapter 17: Part 6) because I posted them in the wrong order. I hope it wasn't too confusing ^^

"This book, Wuthering Heights, is really dark story. The most obvious technique used to make it this way is repetition. The word “and” is used a total of 49 times in the first chapter. There is also a sign of diction, because the placement of the words is determined by whether or not a sentence has a character description. In sentences with character descriptions, the word “and” is used 37 times. This amount is 75% higher than the amount of times the author chose to include the word “and” in sentences which didn’t have character descriptions. There are also a lot of comas---158 in total, 105 of which are in landscape descriptions. This story is about a woman who loves a man but cannot marry him because he is poor, uneducated, and ugly. Though by modern standards he would be considered attractive to some people. But since this story’s setting is old England, the man gets really bitter about it because Katherine, a woman he likes, won’t be with him. Eventually he got rich and educated but then things got worse, because he had strong signs of monomania. When the book was written, people were interested in mental diseases. Monomania is a mental disease. So people were interested in it. Therefore, Heathcliff has monomania, which means having an unhealthy obsession with someone or something.”

Gentry put the paper down and took deep breath. He glanced across the table at Zach, who watched him in turn, craving a response.
Nationals were in two weeks, and finals the week after that… this was moving too slowly.
“Well?” Zach grumbled, to fill the hollowed pause.
“It’s not very good.”
Understatement of the Year.
“Well… I know it’s a little short. But I didn’t know how to go on.”
“You don’t know how to go on?” Gentry scoffed.
“Yeah,” Zach murmured irritably, “maybe you should do your job and tell me how.”
“Zach, you don’t even know how to begin.”
Zach exhaled and fell back in a slouch.
“Whatever; Just tell me what I need to write to get an A. I don’t care.”
“You should.”
“Why? One week later, no one will read or want to read this essay.”
“One week later, you’ll still want that A.”
Blue eyes glared at him from over the table line. Zach had slouched down so far that only his eyes and the top of his head were showing.
“Yeah, I will.” He said, abruptly pulling himself back up, “That’s why I’m doing these fucking readings and fucking papers. To get a grade for a class that’s teaching me shit I’m never going to use in my life. I mean, look at the prompt. Do you really think the bitch who wrote this book even thought about any of this diction and rhyme and imagery? I don’t! In fact, Wuthering Heights is a waste of paper--- the whole story could be summarized into one page. And even that would be a waste of paper. These people aren’t even real--- How can I care about people that aren’t real? Tell me, what’s the point of this!” Zach exhaled, and Gentry opened his mouth to speak, but Zach got the first word.
“And also, Gentry, I’m never going to live in rural 1800s England and if I did I’d own a rifle to shoot these characters. I’m never going to become a lit teacher, I’ll never have to think about this stupid love story about two annoying people.”
Gentry followed his words, listening with glum solemnity, even though he was secretly amused because…
“Yeah, and I’m never going to inspire you to love literature. Why are you wasting my time?”
“Because I want to graduate?”
“And then you probably want to go into a math-related major.”
“Yeah,” Zach pulled himself back up and leaned forward, elbows still on the table, “I have no choice. I’d go crazy if I had to sit all day studying these incompetent people. And Wuthering Heights didn’t invent the light bulb or create the internet.”
“Yeah, well, light bulbs and the internet exist so that people can express what’s in their hearts.”
“Hearts?” Zach scoffed at this, “Please, people think with their mind.”
“But technology is pointless if you can’t express any ideas with it.” Gentry maintained, quiet yet forceful.
“Do you like this book? Are you happy that technology existed to make it?”
“No. But I don’t think it’s pointless.”
Zach fell into uncharacteristic silence as he evaluated the statements, slowly scanning through them for any weak points. Then he spat out an answer.
“Are you still going to study politics?”
“Maybe.”
“You should study literature.” Zach’s voice dropped awkwardly, and then trailed off. He sensed by the look on the other’s face that he had crossed over some invisible line, and hit a sore spot.
“… When you go to Princeton?” he went on awkwardly.
“I’m going to college.” Gentry insisted evenly, “Now stop wasting my time.”