Because You Suck: Chapter 2: Part 30

Gentry hates his life.

Gentry was a terrible office aide. He shuffled papers to make them harder to sort through. He changed grades so that every grade report would read ‘ACDC’ if you scrolled down. Occasionally he would forget to correct the principal’s type-os in e-mails, letting him send out these horribly written messages while praising him on what a good job he was doing. But the pen incident had thrilled him most of all. It was the ultimate ‘fuck you,’ and whenever Ms.Nasty picked up her pen Gentry couldn’t help but grin.
“One of these days,” he thought to himself,”I will go completely crazy.”
His job was to forge the principal’s signature on various important yet monotonous contracts. Gentry always wrote Mr.Harold’s name wrong, spelling it “Mr.HarrHarr” so that if if the error was discovered, the contract would be void, and Mr.Harold would have more paperwork. It hadn’t been discovered for the past three years. But, if it ever was, Mr.Harold couldn’t admit that he had let a student sign his papers. He would have to admit to spelling his own name wrong!
That thought was perfectly exhilarating.
Mr.Nilla, another one of the school’s vice principals, entered and looked to Gentry with a familiar disdain,“Getting any work done?”
“Yes.”
Mr.Nilla had never trusted the red-headed aide. He didn’t trust redheads in general, much less redheaded students.
“Good.” The man nodded. He peered out the open window of the room, surveying the school ground. He secretly suspected Gentry was sabotauging records, but the principal was too busy to listen to his claim. In fact, Mr.Nilla reasoned, Mr.Grau was a terrible principal. Ah! There he was. Parading across the rally court like Napoleon Bonaparte, casting longing looks at the Spanish teacher who had an ass as firm as cabbage. Mr.Nilla sneered, wishing Mr.Grau wasn’t his boss.
Just then, he noticed a boy kissing a girl, and yelled out,”Hey, you two, cut it out!”
The boy made a face and the girl pulled him away. Mr.Nilla whipped out his walky talky, which was blaring loudly,”Yes, yes, I saw them. They’re heading for the bleachers, I think. Keep an eye on them. Thanks.” He gave a crackly dry laugh and looked to Gentry,”Consider this a warning.” He patted the redhead on the shoulder,”That kind of behavior is what gives our school a bad rep.”
Gentry just nodded, writing “Mr.HarrHarr” on another contract.